Tuesday, March 2, 2010

A Message in the Public Interest

Yes, this is a work of satire, people. There's no Troy PD alert on this loser. That's not to say that there's anything contained within that isn't 100% true.

Yes, Harry Zolnierczyk is a junior on the Brown hockey team. Yes, he wears number 7 (remember, that's number 7). Yes, he was convicted in 2008 after recording and then showing to others (more than once) a video of a friend having sex with an underage girl while playing in the BCHL. Yes, this alone would make him kind of a creep, but there's more.

That was Zolnierczyk you saw repeatedly throwing his stick high into the air at Brown's last visit to Houston Field House in November, trying to draw slashing penalties on simple stick checks (here's a note, numbnuts - if someone's slashing you, your stick will hit the ice, not the sky), a game in which he'd earned a double-minor for cross-checking AND hooking. That was Zolnierczyk who did it successfully two months later in Providence to draw a penalty to Joel Malchuk with 9 seconds left in regulation, and that was Zolnierczyk falling over like he'd been shot off the ensuing draw by Peter Merth - a pair of dives that the referees bought and handed Brown 2 points on a silver platter. Mind you, both dives coming after he'd taken a pair of boarding penalties and a kneeing penalty all before the game was even half over.

And yes, the next night, that was Zolnierczyk repeatedly running Union goaltender Keith Kincaid, getting an interference call for doing it in the second period, and a contact to the head call in overtime. After the latter incident, that was indeed Zolnierczyk whining and crying to the referees that he'd done nothing wrong despite having successfully torn Kinkaid's mask off.

As big of a scumbag off the ice as he is on the ice, you would do well to avoid this guy if you happen to see him this weekend - if not, be sure to let him know exactly what you think of reckless, diving sex offenders.

One last thing... isn't fitting that the two teams with players getting in trouble with the law for sex with underage girls finished last and next to last in the conference?

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